Success as a standalone noun is meaningless unless you define an action, it is an outcome (good or bad) of an undertaking. Too often, we generalize success, which then makes us either blindly feel good or lousy.
There can be success right after you fail something—you learn something from the failure, you pick yourself up from the fall ...
And what is a success to me, may not be viewed the same by others, and that is totally fine. :)
This is such a beautiful piece of writing, I loved every second of it. This quote really struck me "Success is a dress you put on the mannequin of self-worth. Stripped of its adornment, it lays bare to what it really is. Isn’t the reason for success to feel worthy?"
I think when I left the US, I was looking to get out of what success looks like for most people, by getting outside of the loop. If that makes any sense. But this doesn't mean that I didn't reflect on my choices and feel regret or unsuccessful because I did and sometimes that ugly monster whispers in my ear, but for the most point, I agree with you -- the point of life is to feel good, to be mindful, conscious. xo
So awesome! I've heard that Asians parents equate criticism with love, so it's hard to undue all that teaching. Glad you had a monk tell you that in person! Both my coach and therapist had the same feedback, so I think they're onto something about me!
Great! You are redefining what success means to you yourself. Looking forward to following your journey. I completely empathize how this is influenced by our cultural upbringing - the Chinese way of equating success with the number of zeroes in one’s bank account! (It has to do with our ancestral history with poverty and wanting to get out of it)
Thanks for sharing this, Rachel. You’re right: self worth is a journey. It’s hard to completely eradicate beliefs that have been pounded into us from infancy. They’ve imprinted themselves onto us on a cellular level. That’s why self awareness is so important. Seeing these beliefs and bringing them to light is perhaps the most important step.
Love this so much. I love how you place the distinction on the idea of success as striving externally whereas self-worth and respect is one where someone aims to arrive, but it's ok if how we define it for ourselves changes. For me, the work is more to keep reminding us that we're worthy, because so much of our current societal standards wants us to forget.
Thanks for this post. It resonates! Sadly, so much of our happiness (or lack thereof) boils down to the mental programming we received when it comes to defining “success.” I was raised with a similar definition of success, with 3 paths to take: doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Which has always troubled me. I am now an Attorney whose first love has always been creative work: writing (fiction and non-fiction), art (traditional and digital painting), and music (singing and piano). Interestingly, being raised to meditate since I was little did not ease my suffering. It made me highly attuned to the conflict between these two Selves. And what’s supposedly more “valuable” has affected my sense of self worth deeply throughout my life, as I have seen the same messaging in my professional circle too. I am now making deliberate choices to value and spend time devoted to my creativity, to more of who I choose to be, because I’ve realized not doing so means I negate myself, and I’m choosing happiness no matter what anyone thinks.
Success as a standalone noun is meaningless unless you define an action, it is an outcome (good or bad) of an undertaking. Too often, we generalize success, which then makes us either blindly feel good or lousy.
There can be success right after you fail something—you learn something from the failure, you pick yourself up from the fall ...
And what is a success to me, may not be viewed the same by others, and that is totally fine. :)
I realize too after writing this piece, that success may be different for everyone...
That's a good perspective, that learning from a failure can be a success!
This is such a beautiful piece of writing, I loved every second of it. This quote really struck me "Success is a dress you put on the mannequin of self-worth. Stripped of its adornment, it lays bare to what it really is. Isn’t the reason for success to feel worthy?"
Thank you, this means a lot to me ❤️ Thank for reading, too!
I think when I left the US, I was looking to get out of what success looks like for most people, by getting outside of the loop. If that makes any sense. But this doesn't mean that I didn't reflect on my choices and feel regret or unsuccessful because I did and sometimes that ugly monster whispers in my ear, but for the most point, I agree with you -- the point of life is to feel good, to be mindful, conscious. xo
I know that ugly monster! But sometimes they are there to remind us to face them and be more mindful.
I see we’re on the same wavelength with our journey towards understanding true success! Self compassion is key. Grateful to read your insights!
Thanks for reading and yes to self-compassion. Such a revelation when a monk told me to be compassionate to myself!
So awesome! I've heard that Asians parents equate criticism with love, so it's hard to undue all that teaching. Glad you had a monk tell you that in person! Both my coach and therapist had the same feedback, so I think they're onto something about me!
Great! You are redefining what success means to you yourself. Looking forward to following your journey. I completely empathize how this is influenced by our cultural upbringing - the Chinese way of equating success with the number of zeroes in one’s bank account! (It has to do with our ancestral history with poverty and wanting to get out of it)
Thanks for reading and following my journey :)
Yes, our ancestors did have it hard, and we have them to thank for getting out of it. But now we need to write our own stories.
Thanks for sharing this, Rachel. You’re right: self worth is a journey. It’s hard to completely eradicate beliefs that have been pounded into us from infancy. They’ve imprinted themselves onto us on a cellular level. That’s why self awareness is so important. Seeing these beliefs and bringing them to light is perhaps the most important step.
You're spot on! We need to have self-awareness as a first step before we can engage with ourselves regarding self-worth.
This is such an amazing piece, Rachel!
Thank you so much Chioma, this means a lot :)
Love this so much. I love how you place the distinction on the idea of success as striving externally whereas self-worth and respect is one where someone aims to arrive, but it's ok if how we define it for ourselves changes. For me, the work is more to keep reminding us that we're worthy, because so much of our current societal standards wants us to forget.
Thanks, Sarah. You're right, it's important to remind ourselves that we are worthy, and that we all have our own path to and definition of success.
Thanks for this post. It resonates! Sadly, so much of our happiness (or lack thereof) boils down to the mental programming we received when it comes to defining “success.” I was raised with a similar definition of success, with 3 paths to take: doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Which has always troubled me. I am now an Attorney whose first love has always been creative work: writing (fiction and non-fiction), art (traditional and digital painting), and music (singing and piano). Interestingly, being raised to meditate since I was little did not ease my suffering. It made me highly attuned to the conflict between these two Selves. And what’s supposedly more “valuable” has affected my sense of self worth deeply throughout my life, as I have seen the same messaging in my professional circle too. I am now making deliberate choices to value and spend time devoted to my creativity, to more of who I choose to be, because I’ve realized not doing so means I negate myself, and I’m choosing happiness no matter what anyone thinks.
And here's to choosing our own happiness! Let not anyone convince us otherwise :)
"Having the courage to do the things you want" is definitely a very good yardstick to measure success by!
It is all indeed a process and a journey for us all.