What truly matters
Conscious Living practices #2
Welcome to the second installment of our conscious living practice series. I’ve shared more about why I’m starting this here. I aim to deepen mindfulness and enrich our shared journey toward conscious living. Previously, we started the practice with reflection and gratitude.
How many of you have a long list of reflections and gratitudes by now?
Maybe you’re like me—still working on it—and that’s completely okay! What matters is that we’ve been more mindful over the past two weeks and taken small steps toward reflection.
Life tends to get busy these weeks as the festive season approaches. Decorate the Advent Kranz, get mini gifts, and hang up the advent calendar. Decide on gifts and who will receive them. Make and send Christmas cards. Bake Christmas cookies.
Our family also has three birthdays to celebrate around this time! Yes, that's the story of our lives. One birthday celebration down, we have three more parties to go: one for each child with their friends and one combined with the family for them.
Amidst all this busyness, I’ve found that taking even a few moments to reflect on the past year can bring clarity and calm.
Pre-Practice
If you have your reflection list, skip the this pre-step and go straight to the practice.
For those who want to quickly gather reflections, find an uninterrupted time for reflection and focus only on this year. This keeps the task manageable.
Set a due date—perhaps this weekend or by Christmas—to complete your reflection session
Use a 30-minute timer and start looking through your chosen resources (calendar, photos, journals, notebooks, planners) for reflections, and write down any points that you deem noteworthy.
This is what I did to amass a quick list.
Since I plan everything about my life on the calendar, it is a good source for me to recall what was done and view all the important events. For some of you, it may be your planner or to-do list.
At the same time, when reviewing each month, I also looked at my photo album to recall some events I might have missed!
To give you an idea, here’s what my list looked like after following this process:
Celebrated my kid’s birthday with Oma and Opa.
Started 1-1 dates with my kids.
Consistent lunch dates with my partner during the week.
I launched this Conscious Living Substack and did a lot of writing this year, reconnecting with my passion, connecting with myself, and processing it all through writing.
We went on a boat trip down the Neckar Valley with Oma, Opa, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All the kids were very excited but surprisingly well-behaved.
Lots of spring and autumn walks and hikes.
Friendship reunion trip in Bali!
Spent precious time with the old loved ones— Mummy, Lai Ma, and Lai Pa. We did some deep talk with Parents are Humans cards; they were great.
Family beach holiday in Majorca.
Built tanglungs (lanterns) with the kids together and did a walk during the Mid-Autumn festival1.
Monthly catch-up calls with my girls–an initiative born from our reunion trip.
I made lovely connections here on Substack—
, , , , , , , , , and .I did the writing protocol to deal with my grief for my father’s death.
Writing about conscious living brought back this core meaning of my life to the forefront.
I did several trainings at work, which rekindled my passion for learning.
Here’s what we are going to do
For the following Conscious Living practice #2, you should have a list of reflections and gratitude to look upon.
For beginners
Find a cozy spot with a warm drink and sit down with your notebook or laptop. Read through your reflection lists without judgment. Just read it for what it is.
Next, choose your top 5 to 10 entries—they resonate deeply, repeat themselves across the list, or simply stand out to you. Circle or summarize them in a shorter list.
Like me, I noticed I listed several events and celebrations with Oma and Opa, and I mentioned that I was grateful for them on multiple occasions. I mentioned all the 1-1 connections in my little family—with kids and my partner. I was thankful for my summer trip back home, reconnecting with my friends on our Bali trip, and afterward, my mother, nanny, and her husband in my hometown. I am also grateful for the new connections I made here in Substack. Thanks to my Conscious Living publication on Substack, I was proud and happy to start writing again. I felt reconnected with myself again, especially in my pursuit of conscious living.
In your top list, go through it again and try to find a pattern. Here are some questions that may help you:
What motivates you?
Does this reflect a value you cherish?
What do you want more or less of?
Who matters most to you, and how are you nurturing those relationships?
What’s most important to you, and how are you prioritizing it?
What sparks your curiosity?
What’s one goal you’d like to pursue?
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” - Goethe.
For seasoned practitioners
Like the last round, I have an option for some of you who are used to this exercise. After you have answered the prompts, try distilling your answers into a word or a short phrase. This will be your “word of the year.”
For example, Gretchen Rubin reflects on why she chose “Door” as her word of the year. For her, it was a time of transition and expectation. To me, it is also a beautiful visual metaphor for opening up new opportunities and adventures.
Your word might be a noun, a verb, or an adjective. There’s no wrong way to pick as long as it’s meaningful to you. - Gretchen Rubin
As for me, the pattern became clear on what my word of the year would be—Connection.
I want to deepen my connections with my partner, children, family, friends, and myself. I also want to extend my connection to nature and the world at large.
This word also aligns well with my conscious living ethos. To connect, we need to be present, and being connected helps us stay grounded in that state, too.
Share with us
What about you? How has this practice been for you? Did you uncover a pattern or identify what matters most? Perhaps you even found your word of the year.
Let’s inspire each other—share your reflections, patterns, or word of the year in the comments or reply to this email. I’d love to hear from you!
As usual, in the comments or, if you prefer, reply to this e-mail. I'd love to hear from you!
The Mid-Autumn Festival is a harvest festival celebrated in Chinese culture. It is held on the 15th day of the 8th month of the Chinese lunisolar calendar with a full moon at night. On this day, the Chinese believe that the moon is at its brightest and fullest size, coinciding with harvest time in the middle of autumn. [1]
You did a fine job, Rachel, of walking us through a meaningful process. I used to journal quite heavily as my reflection, and you're quite right, planners and photo archives can be excellent ways to help jog the memory of all the events past. It was actually though my gratitude list that I discovered what my words of the year will be for 2025 ~ Wonder and Play. And I love your word of the year, it really distills what's important like that great Goethe quote. Glad we connected here, too. Happy holidays, Rachel! xo
I loved reading your list, and so honoured to be mentioned on it. I'm very grateful for our connection on here too! :) i'm really drawn to your idea of noticing patterns in the lists we make - I haven't made mine yet but the idea of finding patterns is definitely motivating me to!