Reflections and gratitudes

Conscious Living practices #1

Welcome to the first installment of our conscious living practice series. I’ve shared more about why I’m starting this here. In essence, my goal is to deepen mindfulness and enrich our shared journey toward conscious living.

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This is the time of year that invites reflection. With Thanksgiving behind us and the year drawing to a close, it’s the perfect moment to pause and look back before the holiday rush takes over.

I have yet to fully reflect, only having recovered from the recent disconnection in the world. What better way to begin than with this timely exercise to kick off our conscious living practice?

More than a decade ago, my friends and I threw a New Year’s party with the theme, “dress as who you want to be.” I went as a traveler—a childhood dream inspired by books I’d read—but I didn’t give it much thought at the time. A few years later, I became exactly one—a solo backpacker wearing the same jacket from that party.

At the party, we each explained why we chose who we wanted to be. This sparked off a yearly practice for us. We have since refined it, and always, the start was with reflection. We discovered that it is essential to think and deliberate.

Although we vaguely know everything in our lives, clarity brings forth not only joy but purpose.

I have never missed a year of this ritual since, and every time, I’m reminded of its power.

Why reflect?

Even if we say that the days are long but the year is short, it is not that short if we think about it. Sometimes, it takes a moment even to recall what we did in January.

Intentional reflection helps us slow down and truly see the life we’ve lived. It allows us to rediscover the beautiful moments, the milestones we’ve crossed, and the life-changing events that might have seemed like ordinary days at that time.

Through reflection, we gain insights into ourselves—our values, priorities, and joys.

What did we spend our time on? How does that align with what truly matters to us? What made our hearts sing? What surprised us? What made us laugh or cry? Who should we thank? And most importantly, what are we grateful for?

Which brings me to gratitude. As a naturally positive person, reflecting on the good things in my life fills me with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Why gratitude?

Gratitude shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have. It’s human nature to overlook the good in our lives, often seeing it as a given.

But when we intentionally practice gratitude, we begin to recognize the effort, love, kindness, or even sheer luck behind the blessings we enjoy.

Research shows that gratitude can increase happiness and reduce bitterness. It’s a simple yet profound way to amplify joy and deepen our connection to the present moment.

When we take the time to notice and appreciate the good things and people in our lives, we naturally become more conscious of them, doubling our joy.

For instance, I’m grateful for:

Time spent playing with my children, even if it feels unproductive.

My supportive in-laws—they made my summer trip with friends possible!

The flexibility of my work schedule.

My partner’s unwavering support.

A hot cup of coffee in the quiet morning.

These small moments and gestures fill my life with joy and meaning. What would be on your gratitude list?

Photo by Prophsee Journals on Unsplash

Here’s what we are going to do

I understand that we’re all at different levels with exercises like this. Some of you have been reflecting for decades, others are just starting, and some might be new to the idea altogether. To meet you where you are, I’ve included an extra step for those who want to take it further.

For the next two weeks, let’s commit to a daily reflection ritual. Set aside 10 minutes each day to reflect.

For some, it might work best early in the morning after waking up. For others, like me, it’s the quiet time before bed. Choose a moment that feels right for you—after the kids are tucked in, during the calm after dinner, or while sipping your evening tea.

The key is to find a time when you can be still and uninterrupted while attaching it to a daily event or habit to make it happen¹.

Use a dedicated notebook or your daily journal if you have one. If you prefer digital tools, that’s fine, too—make sure it’s easy and comfortable to capture your thoughts.

For beginners

• Write the highlights of the day.

• Write any highlights that come to mind—from today, this year, your current life, or even moments from your entire lifetime.

These prompts will help you start noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary.

For seasoned practitioners

If you’ve already been reflecting regularly and want to expand your practice, spend extra time during these sessions (30 minutes) to explore your year in depth. Ask yourself:

• What moments stood out for you this year?

• What were the key events or milestones?

Helpful resources for this:

• Photos from the year to revisit memories.

• Your calendar to review events and commitments.

• Emails or messages, if they don’t overwhelm

• Notes, journals, or any record you’ve kept.

These resources can help jog your memory but don’t get too caught up in the details. This isn’t about perfection.

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Whichever method(s) you choose, by the end of these two weeks, you’ll have a meaningful artifact: a list of simple yet precious daily experiences, moments that stood out, people you’re grateful for, things that brought you joy, and perhaps even key events and milestones.

Keep this list, as we will need it for our next conscious living practice. For now, let’s focus on looking back and looking inward.

To recap, dedicate 10-30 minutes each day to reflection. Capture the highlights of your day/life as they come to you, and if you’re ready, reflect on the entire year.

I hope you find joy and insight in this practice. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.

If you’d like to share your reflections, I’d love to hear them! Sharing not only inspires others but also enriches our own practice by offering new perspectives and deeper insights.

If you’re more comfortable sharing privately, you can also reply to this email or message me directly.

Either way, I look forward to doing this meaningful exercise alongside you. See you in the comments!

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P/S: thanks to my wonderful planning, I just realized I won't be able to squeeze in my monthly letter, so I plan to send one at the end of this month for both November and December.

1. ​​When it comes to building new habits, you can use the connectedness of behavior to your advantage. One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top. This is called habit stacking. [1]