Dear Conscious Readers,

The first month of the year is almost over. It seems like the year has just started yesterday, yet it also feels like it’s been a long time.

The days are long, but the years are short.

And that is why I am always astounded when I look back on everything that happened in the past year.

How was 2025 for me, you might ask? It was the year of connection. The idea of word of the year is not to achieve something. It is more like a guiding post for daily life—influencing microdecisions.

Do I call a friend, or do I spend time staring at strangers’ social media posts instead? I called my friend.

Do I continue working alone on a difficult task because I am oh-so-independent and capable, or do I ask a colleague for help or to discuss? I asked a colleague.

Do I lie a little longer in bed with my kids as we talk about what death is, or do I excuse myself to get lost in a book? I stayed in bed and talked the difficult talk.

So yes, there were new connections, there were also deepening of old connections.

It’s not perfect, of course. But it was a daily reminder of the importance of connection throughout the year. And it will continue to run in my life from now.

As for this year, my word of the year is flow. This timeless Tao’s poem was the inspiration:

The supreme goodness is like water.
It benefits all things without contention.
In dwelling, it stays grounded.
In being, it flows to depths.
In expression, it is honest.
In confrontation, it stays gentle.
In governance, it does not control.
In action, it aligns to timing.
It is content with its nature
and therefore cannot be faulted. - via Raymond Tang.

The poem extolls many values beyond what I can embody this year, but I think flow is a good start.

Over the past year, I’ve become aware of the tensions between different parts of my life.

My work in tech pulls me into a world that is fast, future-facing, and deeply energized by AI. It invites curiosity, experiments, and a belief that something new and exciting is emerging.

Yet in my creative writing life, I often find myself surrounded by suspicion of AI. Here, slowness is sacred. Human messiness matters. Attention is something to be protected, not optimized.

Then there is time itself.

My evolving role at work demands more focus, more mental energy, and reaching outward. At the same time, my writing and daily meditations—where I sit with questions of meaning, mortality, and consciousness—ask for more slowness, more presence, and reaching inward.

And threaded through all of this is my family—my children, my partner. They don’t just want the time that remains; they ask for my undivided attention, my whole self.

How much more can one person split themselves? I do not know.

And thus emerges the word flow. If every part of my life means something to me, and they are me. So why should they be competing? Why aren’t they integrating?

Why not let my energy flow through them, back and forth, back and forth? Each feeding into the other rather than stealing and draining in the process?

That is my hope with flow.

If at work, I am pondering how AI is now changing the world, then that is what I will be writing about. If I started thinking about death because my 4-year-old asked me, “Do I have to be flat when I am dead?” after an encounter with a squashed spider, then that is what I will be writing about. If what I read lately made me cry or question the reality we are living in right now, then that is what I will be writing about.

But what would that mean for this newsletter?

Maybe it’s a longing to feel rooted in the present, a desire to rediscover yourself, or a curiosity about what it means to live with intention and forge deeper connections with others and the world. - A journey to conscious living, together.

It will all still be the same. Conscious living means rediscovering oneself, living with intention, and forging a deeper connection. Having found what it means to live consciously and how that is the key to happiness, it will still be the heartbeat of all that I am writing.

But I do think it’s time for a reset, for a change of name. Well, the new year beckons for that, and also, after two years of writing, I feel it is time for it too. And as flow dictates, the name change will come as it comes in time, and when energy permits, so stay tuned.

Until the next letter, I wish you a good start to the year and, for some of you, a good preparation for the coming Chinese New Year!

Consciously yours,
Rachel

This time, instead of my usual thoughts and recommendations, I’m sharing a small roundup of my favourite pieces from the past two years of this newsletter. I’ve always loved reading these yearly roundups from my favourite writers, and I hope you’ll enjoy this one too.

My personal favourites

What success truly means

Finding connection in a divided world

How a little bird taught me to love and let go

The ones that run close to home

Should you ask me where I am from?

The letters that changed my life

Motherhood is a contradiction

Literary explorations

Raintown

Two of my favourite conscious living practices

Reflections and gratitudes

What truly matters

Other popular posts

The magic of literature

The hidden power of names

For a brief moment of lightness, I became heavy

It has been a while, and the summer holiday has come and gone.

Since moving across the Indian Ocean to Germany, this season always feels like an interlude. It is neither here nor there.

Should I slow down because it is the summer holidays—end of school, start of long breaks—and start anew in September? Even at work, everything slowed to a lull.

Then again, mid-year is when I usually gear up. It’s also my birthday, and I use this time to review my intentions—how I wish to spend my days, and with whom—and my aspirations.

Meanwhile, my son just started school—the excitement!—and it marks a new era in our family. And maybe, sometime next year, I will finally settle into this new seasonal rhythm the Europeans followed.

I come from Malaysia, where I tell people here cheekily, “It is always summer there”. This usually sparks envy, painting a dreamy picture of Malaysia. In truth, it’s hot, balmy, and the rains come often and hard. But they don’t need to know the details.

Gasp! How do people even live in accordance with phases and seasons? We don’t. After three decades in Malaysia, I devised my own.

The year starts with our contemporary calendar year, and it will only truly begin after we celebrate the Chinese New Year. Then, I conduct a mid-year check-in with myself on my birthday, and from then on, it’s a home run until the end of the year.

Here, summer asks me to do two opposite things: pause for rest, but also reflect and gear up for what’s ahead. No wonder I feel a little dissonance.

In the future, I will defer my reflections and plans until after the summer break. In this way, the Chinese New Year may well reflect a better start to the year.

Do you think the Chinese know when the real New Year is? Is the Lunisolar calendar more aligned with the seasons? Possibly.

So yeah, that is my long way of saying that I am back! Did I have a good break? I did. There have been good shifts at work, too, though they’ve taken much of my mental energy.

However, I am now ready to write again, and I have a series coming up. I hope you will enjoy it.

For those in the northern hemisphere, I hope summer has treated you kindly; for those in the south, may winter have been cozy; and for my fellow Asians at the equator, let me remind you—it’s well past mid-year, and time for some internal seasonal change!

So wherever you are in the world, I hope this season brings you your own kind of renewal.

Consciously yours,
Rachel

As always, I'd like to share some thoughts from my reading and reflection space—ideas that have resonated with me recently.

For conscious living

AI and life

I cannot resist writing about AI again. Everybody is talking about AI. This was my response to recently about how he uses ChatGPT and how it is dividing the creative world.

I find it interesting how reluctant artists are to this new technology. Since I work in tech, I utilize AI extensively in almost everything. I have yet to hear a programmer complain that a program is no longer beautiful or meaningful because it was made with the help of AI.

Until we have an AI that can think for itself, everything will still be driven by humans. There will still be a soul behind it.

Undividing with Karl Dunn

ChatGPT vs The Creative Soul - Undividing #40

Welcome to Undividing where we are reconnecting a divided world…

Read more

8 months ago · 54 likes · 36 comments

Fellow Malaysian said that AI has helped refuel her energy to write fiction, and she shared this, knowing she will face backlash.

Tai Tales

What if using AI to write fiction isn't an evil act?

PS: This issue will be paywalled a few days after it is published…

Read more

10 months ago · 24 likes · 39 comments · Elizabeth Tai

Connecting with family and friends

Recently, I felt a keen disconnection from my friends from abroad. I noticed that talking to people who have known you for a long time is different from talking to people who have just met you. Or maybe I was just slow in deepening friendships, and time was my ally.

So I started making more one-on-one calls with friends whenever possible. With so many of these meetings at work nowadays, it makes sense to have some with family and friends as well.

What do you all think?

Leave a comment

For sharing

How to prove you were born four decades ago in Bangladesh

Once I read the title of this essay from one of my favourite writers on Substack, , I went “oh-oh,”.

This is because I had my fair share of dealing with bureaucracy in Germany—the absurdity of trying to prove something you know inherently to be true, and the need for an arbitrary person to approve it to make it true. Not to give any spoilers, read it and find out what happened!

On the side, Istiaq might have also planted a seed in my head about having a sabbatical before my kids turn teenagers and want nothing to do with us anymore. Malaysia, of course, comes to mind….

Why can’t we have a four-day work week?

Thanks to for bringing up this topic, which had been on my mind even before COVID-19 came along and halted the world in its frantic pursuit of progress and consumerism.

But as predicted, the world went back into its usual spinning immediately, though with a change. Now, fully remote, hybrid, or flextime work arrangements are the norm. We will no longer settle for anything less in our jobs.

What would it take to finally nudge everyone into a four-day work week? Because, let’s face it, besides the service or the production industry, we all can do our job in four days easily.

Fewer coffee breaks, less brain-recuperating during office hours, or sneaking in errands and doctor appointments because we have more time in the week to rest, connect, and put our personal lives in order.

Would you embrace a four-day work week?

Leave a comment

You might have missed this since our last letter:

Thank you for staying with me during my absence and for reading all the way through. If you’re excited about my upcoming series on conscious living, I’d be so grateful if you hit the button to subscribe—or even upgrade—to support this work. It helps me justify the time I pour into writing here, and keeps this space alive.

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Happy Friday!

You might recall that I once sneaked out to check out an exhibition, stumbled upon serendipitously, leaving my children with their father at the playground. It was such an unexpected, rejuvenating, though brief artist date.

Since then, I’ve been searching for more art experiences, which led me to the Freiburg Biennale this month. I was thrilled to learn that my humble city also hosts an art biennale. My first experience with them was in Singapore, followed by Venice, the mother of all art biennales.

Last Sunday, risking heatstroke on one of the record-breaking hottest days of the year, I dragged my family out to get a dose of culture and art.

We welcomed the coolness of the Kunstverein (Art Gallery) as we stepped in from the heat. Inside, it’s all white with ceilings reaching up to the sky, with a second-floor mezzanine skirting the walls. It felt like we had walked into a blank canvas, ready to be painted as we wished.

My kids were instantly thrilled to see two giant copper prawns suspended in the air. Shortly after, they were distracted by a wavy screen showing an artist exploring an old Roman building, half-submerged in water. The power of a screen cannot be denied. After that, they were quickly bored, and my daughter's energy had dipped dangerously low—lunch is imminent.

After lunch, we braved the heat again to visit an old public toilet converted to host various artistic exhibitions throughout the year. It was a little unnerving to be hanging out in a public toilet, even if it is no longer in use.

Then we headed to the Skulpturenpark (sculpture park). We got lucky because one of the artists happened to be there, and he gave us an impromptu guide through the park. My children’s favourite in the end was jumping up and down on beanbags at a Beach Bar mockup.

The Freiburg Biennale’s theme is “The Happy Place”. It explores tourism and how, at the front, it is all about leisure, fun, and joy, but behind the scenes, it is at the cost of many through slavery, poverty, colonialism, transforming cultures, and compromising values. They call it the “cruel optimism”.

A quote by Agnes Essonti Luque, displayed with a series of photographs, struck me:

Where is a happy place for you? Have you ever wondered what the costs are to make it possible?

Do share your thoughts with me. I wish you a meaningful and artistic weekend!

Consciously yours,
Rachel

For conscious living

Nostalgia and melancholy

As I wrote an essay about my beloved hometown, the one place I truly felt I belonged, the one place I could call home, and the one place I would love to answer the question of where I am from, I experienced a mixture of nostalgia and melancholy. And I wonder, what are these feelings? In the movie Inside Out 2, twice Nostalgia—depicted as an old lady with a cane—came out from her room to join the crew, and was quickly ushered back in by Anxiety, saying, “You’re not supposed to be here yet.”

Does nostalgia then come with age? When we have grown old enough and have distanced ourselves enough from the past, a past we possibly wish to revisit or long for, but know we can never have it again. It won’t be the same. The places change. The people change. We change. At some point, nostalgia spills over into melancholy, and sometimes I struggle to differentiate between the two. I am a melancholic person. My favourite season is autumn. I like to dwell in bittersweet emotions. What about you?

For sharing

I have these memories by

I enjoyed following as she walked down her memory lane, vividly describing pockets of scenes.

I have these memories of riding our bikes along the river trail with Baba at the front, weaving between the walkers and the Canada Geese and smelling the breeze off the water and speeding up so we could pass each other and coming home smelling of sweat and dirt and victory.

Love Letter #2: Chance & Courage by

With all the posts I’m seeing about America lately, what about a love letter to it instead?

So, what was your greatest gift to me?

It wasn't wealth.

It wasn't power.

It was this:

The sacred and terrifying freedom to begin again.

In case you missed it, here are some essays and conscious living practices I’ve sent since the last letter:

If you enjoyed receiving my personal letters, and you value thoughtful storytelling and deeper reflections, consider—

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It's been a long time since I wrote a letter. How have you been? How is life living consciously?

It had been a while since we returned from Malaysia—yet somehow, it felt like yesterday too.

How does time flow? It dilates and contracts, depending on the state of the person who experienced it.

I once did bungee jumping in New Zealand at the world’s first commercial bungee operation at Kawarau Bridge.

I stood at the bridge's ledge—the wind cut through me as I stared ahead into the horizon. A tug at my straps pulled my attention back. A lady was busy securing the bungee straps on me. My eyes darted back quickly to survey the area, my feet cold and my body stiff.

“Ok, ready?” she called loudly over the roaring wind. I stepped back, blinking rapidly as I made eye contact with her.

“Really? Is it safe?” I asked1. She nodded firmly and gave me a tug at the strap between my shoulder blades, gently nudging me to go.

My leg bent without me bending it, and I jumped off the bridge without me jumping off.

Then I froze mid-air, arms spread out beside me. My eyes widened, taking in the clear blue sky, the rushing crystal blue river meandering through the green valley flanked by mountains. My body hung there, weightless, long enough to enjoy it all.

My view slowly changed to face the river. I noticed an orange raft with people waiting for my imminent arrival. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I plunged face-first into the rapid currents.

Then the rope went taut, breaking my fall. I swung a few times like a pendulum, with blurs of blue and green. I released the tension and let my body hang loose until the people on the boat pulled me in.

Later, I would view my jump again from a recorded video. In the footage, I jumped, screamed instantly as I plunged, and then swung like a ragdoll—barely eight seconds from start to finish.

Time dilated for me as I faced an existential threat and a significant moment of awe. It felt like minutes when it was only seconds. I even had the time to tell myself to enjoy the view.

For the past eight weeks, I have experienced both time dilation and the usual speeding of time.

When we live mindfully, time dilates, too. Sitting in the half-lotus position, concentrating on your breath and nothing else, ten minutes of meditation may feel like a long time.

Hopefully, with the training behind me, I can return to my regular rhythm here and experience my usual time progression.

Thank you for your patience, and as always, I appreciate you taking the time to read.

Consciously yours, Rachel

For conscious living

Emotions are data

I first heard the phrase “emotions are data” at the kickoff of my leadership training. It immediately resonated with many of us. Then yesterday, I came across the exact phrase again—this time in a podcast episode by Dr. Laurie Santos (The Happiness Podcast) featuring Susan David.

Key takeaways from the podcast:

1. Emotions are data; so listen to them.

2. Name your emotions accurately. Instead of generic “I am stressed”, be specific—are you overwhelmed, disappointed, or frustrated? The more specific you are, the more accurate your emotional data becomes.

3. Create distance from your emotions. Rather than saying “I am disappointed”, say “I notice that I’m feeling disappointed”. Then ask: What is this feeling telling me? What should I do with this information?

Once again, this quote from Viktor Frankl is mentioned—“Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

Then the next morning, I woke up to the Marginalian newsletter on Viktor Frankl talking about the choices we can make internally.

Is this synchronicity? It feels like the universe is gently repeating this message from different directions. It's time I embrace that elusive space between emotion and reaction.

For writing

Using AI

There’s been a lot of buzz lately about using AI in writing. asked us in a thread how we used it, and then I came across ’s advice to create a personal AI policy. There were also various takes on AI around the Substackverse, and I am intrigued to see how people use and view AI.

I use AI daily, mostly like a personal assistant: researching, tracking fitness and nutrition, translating text, and sometimes as a brainstorming partner or sounding board. When it comes to writing, I use AI mostly as a proofreader. I ask it to check for flow, redundancies, and mistakes, but I specifically request not to change anything. I don’t have a hard stance on AI in writing, but I agree that nothing beats human creativity, at least not yet. So I always start by creating on my own, and only bring AI in afterward to support the refinement process.

The Convivial Society

The Cat in the Tree: Why AI Content Leaves Us Cold

Welcome to the first installment of the Convivial Society for the year 2025. Most of you know the drill: this is a newsletter exploring the intersection of technology, culture, and human flourishing…

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a year ago · 312 likes · 8 comments · L. M. Sacasas

SoulStack by Beth Kempton

Doing what you love in the age of AI

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a year ago · 194 likes · 111 comments · Beth Kempton

For sharing

Make something heavy by

I have been thinking about lightness versus heaviness lately, which I’ll post about next. This article spoke about heaviness from a different perspective. Anu described the internet as light, with value often placed on short messages and fleeting images. On Substack, the lightest part is Notes. She said many light things don’t add to heavy things, and we all, in essence, crave to create something heavy. For example, instead of continuing to post content endlessly, we yearn to write a book, a masterpiece.

In case you’ve missed my essays in the past two months

It’s been two months since my last letter. My past two months were packed—celebrating three birthdays with four birthday parties, Christmas, and a mini New Year. It was tiring, but it was worth it. For celebrate we must, in our attempt to make memories that last—to write the stories of our lives.

My first ever memory is of my birthday celebration at my Lai Ma’s (nanny). It was my third birthday, but I can’t be sure; it could also have been my fourth.

I was running around the wide and airy living room, giggling. Sunlight streamed through the many panels of windows with narrow glass slats swung open by a lever, its beams broken into delicate patterns. Shimmering dust particles danced in the streams of light. I looked up at the ceiling, towering ten times my height, and felt the rough lines of the cool marble floor beneath my toes. Together, they kept the house comfortable even on the hottest tropical day.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw my Godsister taking off the cover of a nameplate holder on a video player, much like the ones on apartment mailboxes. She replaced the paper with a new one. She told me it said “Heng’s Birthday”. I stood there for a long time, staring at the scribbles I could not read, but in awe that it was meant for me.

In this way, as we celebrate all these birthdays, I hope I am creating lasting memories for my children. My youngest just had her first-ever friend’s party with two of her best friends from daycare. The day before, we celebrated with the family. Perhaps a snippet of one of these occasions will remain in her little brain, marking her first-ever memory.

May this year bring you many moments to cherish and memories that last a lifetime.

Your conscious friend,

Rachel

Here are a few things to share; it's short as I prepare for my upcoming trip back to Malaysia for the Chinese New Year1. I will share more about it!

For conscious living

Synchronicity

A few days ago, my best friend wrote to me, “Check out the word Yutori in Japanese. It means spaciousness. I like it. Isn't it great that some cultures have certain words because they value it?”

Later that day, I opened a letter from , who writes from rural Japan, with the title Yutori for 2025.

Yutori is a noun that means having room to spare, not being cramped. Room to breathe. Rest. At its core, yutori translates to "spaciousness", and the concept extends beyond physical space, encompassing mental and emotional space as well. - Kana Chan.

Having space physically and emotionally opens up to the external, allowing us to embrace and connect with others and the natural world.

On a lighter note, I read about an adorable out-of-this-world-looking animal called Axolotl from , and shortly after, my daughter received a birthday gift called “Axolotl Magical Putty.” These wondrous small animals inspired the creation of the putty, which can melt into a puddle of glittering mess or be shaped into a ball that bounces! Now, wouldn’t that be a good skill to have?

These synchronicities reminded me of interconnectedness, opening up, curiosity, and wonder. I would love to invite more spaciousness and magical wonder into my life!

For writing

Paying attention

I’ve been following in her writing intensives in Writing in the Dark for a few months, and though I lack the time to complete them, I am intrigued by her insistence on the importance of paying attention as a writer. Immediately, I knew this to be true, though I could not articulate it.

…I believe that the number one most helpful practice you can take up to improve your writing is to pay close attention to the world. If you do this consistently and record your observations meticulously, your writing will explode with a realness and a vividness you cannot achieve any other way. - in Pay Attention…

For sharing

Analog sea

I discovered this offline publication in my local library and was slightly thrilled when I read that they are not available anywhere online. That’s their ethos. This website is probably the only information you can get from them online. Some pages of the publication have a lot of white space, with only a carefully selected quote and excerpt from other works and poems. There are also interviews with various artists and random letters to the editors; one from a prison inmate intrigued me. And, of course, there are submitted essays specifically for this offline published format.

I once got hold of their call for submissions pamphlet, but I have since lost it and do not have the option to search for it again, unlike its online counterpart. I am not even sure if I imagined it because of my eagerness to pitch to them. I do quite like the rare feeling this “offline situation” invoked.

In case you’ve missed these essays in the past two months:

Check out my inaugural Conscious Living practices—I’d love for you to try them if you haven’t already!

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What is your first memory?

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Where did October go? I thought I would finally have time with the holidays behind us to tackle those 2024 goals before Christmas. But as usual, time had its plans and only scoffed, “Not so fast, my friend!”.

During the year I left the rat race—my year of freedom and exploration, both physically and mentally—I wrote in my blog about the unique energy of November. I coined it ‘Newember.’ I know it’s a little quirky, but here is an edited excerpt of what my 20-something self wrote about it back then:

New is such a positive word. New signifies birth, like a newborn child who cries out upon entering the world in shock, then marvels at all the sights, sounds, and smells around them. From there, a child will grow with curiosity, seeing everything fresh and exciting and like a big opportunity for exploration. When was the last time you saw things from the eyes of a child?

November has always been a quiet month for me—autumn, rainy, and cooling, depending on which side of the world you are in. The old has to go before the new can come in. It is not the end yet (that’s for December), but it is a period when people take the last opportunity to mellow a little, slack a little, waiting for the holidays to come. Just as the autumn trees shed their leaves, we, too, shed our burdens. And as for me, I am throwing in spring for this autumn. I’d shed the leaves and bloom with new flowers. Flowers bring joy.

Life is a journey on a long road; don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.

Reading this now, I chuckled at the innocence of what I wrote. Back then, I was writing about seeing things through a child’s eyes, without the faintest idea I’d one day have children of my own! I think I was remembering my younger self—10-year-old Rachel, the wise. And look how far I’ve come; those lessons have come to life in my children. Every day, they remind me to look at the world through their eyes. 

I recalled this post because, this November, I feel that sense of “new” all over again. But in a different sense. I am not mellowing out; I have so many plans and so many ideas to bring to life before the year ends. Despite the difference in perspective, it’s a good thing I am feeling this way again. It’s been a long time since I have the time and headspace to feel this spark again. 

Could this mean I’m back on track, channeling my energy into what my heart wants? Back then, in those early days of conscious living, this idea came to me. And this year, after starting this Conscious Living newsletter 9 months ago, it struck again, proving that I have found my way again. 

As we move into this month, I invite you to take a moment and decide what ‘Newember’ could mean for you this year. Whether slowing down or gearing up, I wish you a meaningful, mindful month.

Cheers,

Your conscious friend

P/S: As I have hinted, I have many plans—including new ideas for this newsletter. So, stay tuned!

For Conscious Living

Fulfillment

My word of the year was “Harmony”. I have been actively reminding myself of it throughout the year and cultivating it where possible while appreciating the already present harmony. As I reflect, though, I realize I’ve also been actively seeking fulfillment in many areas of my life, from embarking on writing here to redefining my role at work. I kept asking myself what would make me fulfilled. What should I spend my precious time doing? There is so much to unpack here; I’ll let it brew for now. 

What about you? Have you thought about what fulfillment means for you lately?

Leave a comment

If Your World Is Not Enchanted, You're Not Paying Attention by

If you are heading over for a read, sit down with a cup of tea and get comfortable first. This is how it’s always been with L.M. Sacasas' writings; it requires attention and deep thinking. I have been a long-time reader of his; if memory serves me right, he was the first Substack I ever subscribed to. This piece resonates with me because it is not only about paying attention but also about being enchanted by the world again. I have yet to use the word enchantment in my contemplations on conscious living, but it seems to fit perfectly. It is related to the feeling of awe, but in my interpretation, it is slightly more subdued yet still entranced. Conscious living requires paying attention to the now, not only inward but also outward—to which you might just find yourself enchanted by the world.

For writing

On How To Be Prolific and How To Face The Wall by

Alexander wrote this excellent think piece on writing. I find the word ‘prolific’ so much more sexy than ‘productive’; I am not saying they’re the same, but they’re close cousins. One part that stood out to me was when he explained how our minds shut down, thinking it’s protecting us. That was precisely what was happening to me, too, at the beginning of my Vipassana 10-day meditation retreat. My mind kept shutting down, falling asleep as a way to protect me, but as Alexander suggested, I gave it a new job to keep going, and together, we got over the wall. It is a simple but powerful strategy, especially for writing—or any time persistence feels daunting.

For Sharing

Am I still a minimalist? by  

Molly reflects on her experience as a minimalist over the past 5 years, and it’s fascinating to see how her perspective has come full circle. I’ve always strived to be a minimalist (remember when owning only 100 things was a trend?), but I’ve never truly been able to achieve it. Things tend to accumulate around me, even if I don’t acquire them myself, especially with kids. I have done my share of Konmari1, too; once, I went all out with my wardrobe. While satisfying, the process took a lot of energy and mental space, so I didn’t go through the whole house as she suggested. But as long as I could remember, I kept to this mantra and found it sustainable—use what I have as long as possible, buy only when there’s a real need, and remove or give away anything that’s no longer in use.

In case you’ve missed these in the past month:

An interview with from This is Sophie Today about living a little differently.

This Is Sophie Today

Off-Grid Voices - A Chat With Rachel Ooi

Off-Grid Voices is a series of written interviews with others who are out there living their best lives, living lives that are a little outside the norm, a little different. I’m hoping this series will inspire some of you who may be thinking about living a life off the grid, travelling the world, doing #vanlife, or anything else that you may be consider…

Read more

2 years ago · 14 likes · 9 comments · Sophie S. and Rachel Ooi

It’s been a month since I returned from my long-awaited getaway with my girlfriends in Bali. I have so much to share, but it still feels overwhelming to put it all into words.

The overwhelming anxiousness of leaving my young children for two weeks is behind me! The worst I imagined didn’t happen, and the best I hoped for came true—and more. This experience has renewed my faith in life and made me braver in following my heart.

After my return, I consciously spent as much time as I could with my children to reconnect. Their mother is back, fully recharged, and I found that they have also grown and expanded in my absence.

Since then, we’ve settled back into our routine and even had the chance to explore the Black Forest twice, catching the tail end of summer. The Blackforest has many trails made for children, which includes stations along the path with puzzles to solve, or stories to follow, or both. They proved to be a good motivation to keep the kids going. Since the one-time failed attempt, my children have increasingly enjoyed these mini-adventures. My almost-three daughter is also building her stamina to keep up with us!

As you read this, we’re away on our family trip—our holiday together for the year. Am I even allowed to take another vacation so soon? Apparently, I am!

Now, onto the things worth sharing from the past month:

For conscious living

Connection

I recently wrote about how connecting with my friends and loved ones and the universe has shaped my life over the past decade. Connection is essential in everyday life, too; it forms the foundation of all relationships, even with strangers. When we seek to connect, we gain a deeper understanding of others, leading to more meaningful interactions. To deepen my connections with those around me, I’m focusing on a few key practices—slowing down, being present, and engaging one-on-one.

Mortality

Mortality has been on my mind since before the trip, and I feel it shaping into a longer essay here. This term has always been at the back of my mind—Memento Mori—remember that you have to die.

During our reunion trip in Bali, I brought up this subject with my friends. Our discussion took a practical turn—very typical of our Chinese upbringing—as we talked about where we want to be buried or cremated, the importance of having a will, and whether we’ve sorted out online passwords and banking matters for after we’re gone. Well, I was thinking more along the philosophical line of mortality, but these things are, of course, important, too. As once said, knowing when we are going to die can be useful, especially in practical terms.

For Writing

Can We Learn How to Write? by

This title pulled me in immediately, being someone who is learning to write on her own. I believe that we all have our unique voices, and only we can find them for ourselves. However, I also believe in improving one’s craft, be it learning from others or through sheer practice.

I used to be a food blogger, and comparing my first food photograph to my most latest one highlights how much I’ve improved by simply taking more photos and seeking inspiration from other food bloggers. As we’ve all heard from our favorite writers—if you want to write well, read and read a lot. And, of course, keep writing.

Sharing

Courage without fear by

Reading this transported me back to my longest and highest trek ever—the Annapurna Circuit (approximately 230 km, which took us 19 days). This trek crosses the highest walkable pass in the world, Thorung-La Pass, at 5,416 meters. It remains one of the most challenging yet rewarding endeavors I’ve ever undertaken. Someday, I hope to write about this life-changing experience. In the meantime, check out Zefan’s reflection on her hike in Nepal and her thoughts on bravery.

But first, sleep. Lucy and Ricky were onto something by

I enjoy reading Jenna’s newsletter; it feels like I am back to the old days of blogging. In some ways, Substack feels like blogging, but sometimes, the monetization part of it screams louder.

When Jenna wrote about her efforts to reclaim sleep, it reminded me of my sleepless nights after my eldest was born. It struck me then how much I have taken sleep for granted and how much of our life and crucial it is to our well-being. I then shared how couples in Germany typically sleep on the same bed with separate mattresses—an ingenious and practical way that the Germans come up with that promotes both sleep wellness and intimacy!

A short story: Living Alone by

Recently, I discovered Hajee, and I thoroughly enjoyed her fictional short story. As an Asian, I have a soft spot for older people, and this story invites us into the mind and adventures of Grandma Ailin. I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic about my Ah Ma while reading. Though she lived many years alone after her husband passed away (he was much older than she). This story resonates deeply with me, as it offers a glimpse into Asian culture and the expectations that accompany it.

In case you’ve missed these in the past month:

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How are you? Since our last letter, I have been quietly celebrating a small win here - this publication has reached its first milestone of 100 subscribers! The first thing I did was to share with my first two subscribers - my husband and my best friend.

I was considering sharing some thoughts about it since I myself enjoy this sub-genre of Substack—writers sharing their growth, learnings, and experiences. I might just compile this into a post once I have enough to share (and enough growth), or I might not. Comment and let me know if you would be interested in that.

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But I did get a boost of motivation to keep writing. Thank you for subscribing; it means the world to me. In the coming months, I plan to focus on improving my writing craft and establishing a more regular publishing cadence—all for you!

In my last letter, I shared a glimpse into our lives in Germany’s black forest, which  from KateMotleyStories mentioned she enjoyed it. Last weekend, we took the kids to explore it again, this time on a barefoot path— a short circular trek laid with different textures like dried pines, wood chips, and pebbles. In theory, it should be an exciting sensory experience for children—feeling nature via our feet, like our ancient ancestors.

But life has other plans for us. As we just started on the trek, I paused to read a sign with my kids behind me. They found themselves on a patch of grass with dozens of giant ants swarming around. My 5-year-old son started screaming hysterically. His 2-year-old sister followed suit naturally. She refused to walk on the path afterward, coming down briefly at spots like planks or benches—in other words, not nature. My son recovered and tried again but slipped into a muddy section, getting soaked up to his hip. Later, he would scream like mad again, claiming the ominous ant bit him. That was when we aborted and cut across the field to return to our starting point.

Ah well, we will have another weekend to drag the kids out to the Blackforest for more (mis)adventures! Stay tuned.

****

I'm back again with my conscious living letters, with the three areas of thoughts worth contemplating and things worth sharing.

For conscious living

Taking time off for myself

I’ll be taking a break in August but will schedule a few posts so you won’t miss me (let's say you would!).

I’m excited about a reunion trip with my friends, one of whom I haven’t seen in four years! On the other hand, I am anxious about leaving my children; for my youngest, this would be her first time away from Mama. My oldest had that experience when I flew back to say goodbye to my dad.

On yet another hand (can we have three hands? Yes, we can), I am looking forward to all the free alone time ahead of me. One-hour train ride to the airport? Bliss. Two hours waiting in the airport? Bliss. A 13-hour flight and three hours of transit? Bliss. A traffic jam in a taxi? Bliss. 

Well, like I say, motherhood is a contradiction!! 

My first silent meditation retreat by

Carolyn’s experience in a silent meditation retreat transported me back to my Vipassana experience in a Thai temple. I should finally find some time to write about that, but meanwhile, do read Carolyn’s experiences and lessons, especially if you are considering a meditation retreat. 

For writing

Writing Seasons by

Recently, I discovered Amanda’s work and am enjoying it tremendously. I especially love her post about the seasons of writing—Musing, Tending, Craft, and Rest. I immediately identified with the season I was in. I started my newsletter to find my voice but ended up Tending—connecting with those who need my writing most. Interacting with fellow readers and writers nourished and inspired my writing. Now, I feel the Craft season beckoning, as mentioned earlier.

For sharing

Three Words I Wish I Had Eradicated From My Management Vocabulary by

What struck a chord was Yi Xue’s son mentioning she was there but not present. I’ve shared in my past letters my struggle to be mindful and present with my kids. Alice suggested replacing “balance” (in work-life balance) with “boundary.” I manage boundaries between working for others and my life well, but I struggle with those between my creative work, entrepreneurial work, and family. Each encroaches on the other, requiring me to be a professional juggler. I’ll need to contemplate these boundaries.

Aging gracefully in the face of ageism by

It tickles me to read her description of how an Asian woman ages, as I can relate. Both my grandmothers had perms, and as a young child, I thought it was the natural hairstyle for all old Chinese women. My mother defied this convention, keeping her hair long, straightened, and dyed black. With her petite size, she was often mistaken for being younger. Am I following the same path? Time will tell.

Through the Other Looking-Glass and What I Found There by

This is a treat for you if you love prose and how words can be strung together to sound like music. Nothing I can say here will do justice to this piece, which is like lanterns strung together and hung across a river, bridging one side of a mirror to the other.

****

Since our last conscious living letter, I’ve written a few essays you might have missed:

Till my next letter, stay conscious,

Rachel

I would love to hear from you!

Do you have any tips for an anxious mother leaving her young children for an extended period?

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Conscious Living

Conscious Living Letter #1

I decided to write a short letter between my long essays now, as I always have some things to explore, especially regarding conscious living, but they might not be ripe for a fledged-out article yet. In this letter, I will share three things in three areas/topics. Why 3? Because 3 represents many areas in life, from spiritual to nature to symbols. For ex…

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2 years ago · 6 likes · 6 comments · Rachel Ooi

May seemed to sneakily pass me by, with a mix of fleeting work days and extended weekends. In Germany, most public holidays crowd into May, giving it a unique rhythm. This year, thanks to the auspicious positions of public holidays, either falling on a Thursday, forcing one to take Friday off for a four-day weekend, or falling on a Monday for an automatic extension, there were many extended weekends.

On one of the long weekends, we brought the kids to a Bauernhof Urlaub (holiday on a farm) in the Blackforest. It is very convenient because it is only a 30-minute drive away from home; that’s the perk of living next to this famous forest. We do not have animals at home, living in an apartment and all, so it was nice to have a closer encounter with them. Also, I was pleasantly surprised that we managed daily 1.5-hour hikes (completed in double the time) with two small children. We will definitely be doing more of it as the days get warmer!

Anyway, my best friend gave a feedback on my previous conscious living letter. She said that coming up with nine things each time would be a lot for me. Of course, my best friend is right. Who else would be there to tell you in the face when you try to overachieve again? 

Still keeping in the spirit of three, I will be sharing whatever I have in the three areas—conscious living, writing, and sharing!

For conscious living

Digital awareness and balance

Digital awareness has been on my mind a lot lately. I still feel the allure of my phone every time I have a bit of idleness. Waiting for my cup of coffee? Phone. My kids are miraculously playing with each other without trouble. Phone. Waiting for a website to load. Phone. My husband staring at his phone while we lounge on the couch after a long day, when the kids are finally in bed. Phone.

I want to be intentional and present, especially with my kids and husband. Ingrid shared how she reduced her phone usage in April and offered great tips.

TOAP

April Was All About How To Spend Less Time On My Phone

Hello there, I hope you had a good April. Please do let me know if you read, watched, discovered or obsessed over anything. I love a good recommendation. This month I spent a lot of time grappling with my phone. Am I, or am I not addicted to it? Do I, or do I not have a behavioural addiction? Perhaps at some time or the other you too have asked yourself the same question. If so read on…

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2 years ago · 12 likes · Ingrid Haring-Mendes

Incidentally, one of my favorite podcasts, Happiness, by Laurie Santos, recently discussed Digital Balance, which focuses on balancing “using the phone” vs. “the phone using you.”

The good ol’ camera

During our Blackforest holiday, once, I wanted to capture a funny moment but couldn’t because I had purposefully left my phone in the apartment to spend uninterrupted time with my kids. Like most people nowadays, my phone is also my camera. This made me realize how we are not only addicted to our phones but also very reliant on them.

I’m now considering digging out my old digital camera to take pictures with. It feels nostalgic, like going back to the “old times,” even though it was only less than a decade ago that I switched to using the phone camera because it became good enough and is arguably much more convenient. Technology is definitely moving fast, and we may get swept along without noticing it.

For writing

Creative date

I read about taking a creative date from Melissa-Jane Fogarty (Nguyen) a while back and thought I should get one myself soon, but the opportunity hasn’t arise. Until last Sunday, after a short bicycle tour and a relaxing lunch at an Italian restaurant with a playground for the kids (oh, the little things we rejoice in as parents!), we stopped at a forest playground in Freiburg. While parking our bikes, I spotted a building with floor-to-ceiling windows revealing what seemed to be an exhibition. Intrigued, I went off to check it out once the kids settled in playing. It was the exhibition by Lore Bert called Stationen (Stations).

The exhibition was small but offered a taste of Lore Bert’s work. This focused digest was refreshing, especially compared to my last art experience at the Venice Biennale, which, though meaningful, was overwhelming. Analyzing Bert’s art, which felt childlike yet profound, inspired me. I notice many artists evolve from simplicity to complexity and then back to a pure form, changed by their journey.

I aspire to evolve my writing similarly. Though I do not know where I am in my journey, I intend to keep writing until I reach its purest yet profound form. 

For sharing

This could be a cheat because I am sharing Sarah’s amazing list in her On Rest and Finding Inspiring Creators. I am still reading through some of what she shared, and have bookmarked a few things to listen to when I am at the gym again!

Searching For Enough

On rest and finding inspiring creators

Hello Dear Ones, April came and went, just like that. Most times, I’m good at putting boundaries for when my schedule and capacity feel like enough. Well, then there are those weeks where I’ve pushed myself too much and I am now in bed with what I lovingly call “the crud…

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2 years ago · 11 likes · 8 comments · Sarah Li-Cain

Also, continuing on digital awareness and how technology is influencing our lives, I highly recommend checking out The Convivial Society by L. M. Sacasas. I believe it was one of my very first substack subscriptions years ago!

Please share your thoughts:

1. Do you keep a digital balance? If yes, how?

2. Have you been on a solo creative date? How was it?

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In this letter, I will share three things in three areas/topics. Why 3? Because 3 represents many areas in life, from spiritual to nature to symbols. For example, the beginning, middle, and end; birth, life, and death; past, present, and future; mind, body, and spirit.

It's a principle captured neatly in the Latin phrase omne trium perfectum - everything that comes in threes is perfect, or every set of three is complete.

Three things for a conscious living

In the spirit of inspiring conscious living, I will share three things related to it. Besides writing in detail about an aspect of conscious living, like my post on seeking moments of awe or traveling slowly and mindfully, I want to share these personal experiences with you.

Meditation 

Ten years ago, I went on a 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat, one of my life's most life-changing events. Meditation is a transformative practice that helps us retake the reins of our minds and brings us back to the present moment. Even though I'm struggling to keep up with the practice, I meditate every morning for 10 minutes once I wake, as long as my kids haven’t beat me to it!

Taking an awe walk

I wrote about my search for awe in my everyday routine. Well, a routine may be a stretch to call it with two young kids. There is almost always something to throw a wrench into our routine, but lucky for me, I thrive rather on spontaneity. 

Practicing what I preached, I went for an awe walk on a lovely spring day to the viewpoint overlooking Freiburg and continued on a round trip in the hills. Though intended for a mindful awe walk, I found my thoughts wandering, so I caved and listened to one of my favorite podcasts. I am used to listening to podcasts while working out in the gym, so it can be something I reach out for when I am moving or exercising. I may try a non-distracted walk next time and report back here.

Conscious Living

In search of awe

When we were young, life was a constant wonder and filled with awe through the discovery of many new things about the world in our immediate environment. As we grew older, the sense of wonder diminished, and so did our experience of awe. In my early twenties, I didn't realize I had been missing the experience of awe for a long time. My focus was solely o…

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2 years ago · 3 likes · 3 comments · Rachel Ooi

Reducing distraction

At present, my biggest culprit in distraction is, surprise, surprise, my smartphone! Despite being aware of its impact, I find myself mindlessly reaching for it during idle moments. I tried putting it away during focused times, but I wasn't very good at sticking to it. So, now I will try something simpler - I'll keep my phone out of reach most times so I'm less tempted to check it. Do you have any tips for avoiding phone distractions? 

Louisa Wah highlighted how smartphones are central to our lives, which sparked a group chat discussion on it with her.

Three things for writing

I want to hone my writing craft, and currently, besides writing here on Substack and finding my voice, I am also self-studying how to improve my writing. I want to share this journey with you. Let's explore how I'm growing as a writer and what I'm learning along the way. 

Journaling

The first diary I wrote was when I was a tween, maybe around 12. I started as inspired by youth books with “Dear Diary.” Those were the embarrassing yet insightful stories of my young self. I journaled on and off since then until now, and almost every year, I will vow again to journal more frequently, this year not exempted. I am still trying to implement a nightly journaling ritual before sleeping. 

A swim in the pond in the rain by George Saunders

I am a subscriber to the famous George Saunders, and recently, I have read his book “A Swim in a Pond in the Rain.” I have finished reading it through in a flow, and I thoroughly enjoyed how he explores elements such as character development, narrative structure, and the power of language. He also delves into broader themes about the human condition and the role of literature in understanding ourselves and the world around us. I guess this is the reason why we read and write, too. I also enjoyed Russian literature, which I had not been exposed to until now. I plan to go over the whole book again and focus on his exercises. 

Reading more intentionally

I am a serial speed reader. I find myself forgetting many facts after reading a non-fiction book wherever I try to pass on information or wisdom to others. As for fiction books, I will retain the feel, the visual images I created in my mind, and some standout scenes, but I will also struggle to go into details again when discussing them. While writing about slow reading, Yuezhong also discusses paying attention to the craft. I also want to pick up more of this skill to become a better writer.

Three things for sharing

Last but not least, you, my reader, are the most important here - the reason why I write. Therefore, I'll share things that I believe are worth your time! They will come in the form of Substack letters, books, podcasts, or any other media.

The Happiness Podcast by Dr. Laurie Santos

I love this podcast where Dr. Laurie Santos explores subjects of happiness and often provides life tools for us to achieve it ourselves. She also interviews many experts on this subject. Her topics range widely from parenting to relationships to self. There is surely something for everyone in there.

Love Without Words by Yi Xue

I love this beautiful three-part story about Yi Xue and her mother. She touches on how our culture does not rely on words to express our love to one another, something I know firsthand when I failed in words during my farewell to my dad. I enjoyed reading her mother's life story, her immigrant journey of sacrifices for family and dreams, and how she found solace in music. 

If Loneliness Was A Flower by Suyin Tan

Suyin’s poem, If Loneliness Was A Flower, delves into the tangible and intangible aspects of loneliness. It is rich in symbolism and an ode to Chinese culture, such as burning a letter, tangerine peels, and a Chinese character. I also relate to the cutting ties of tradition, which started when my ancestors left China for a better life and continued when I left Malaysia for love.

Three questions for you!

1. What practices have you found most transformative in your pursuit of mindful living? 

2. How do you manage distractions in your daily life, especially in the age of smartphones?

3. What are your favorite books or resources for improving your writing skills?

Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.

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